April 12th – Davidene’s note

Hi, Friends :

Another weekend is here, which makes me think about last weekend, which makes me smile. Last Saturday I was allowed to step back into a role I had for years, but which has decreased during the recent years of Kent’s illness. My church women had an annual event – a church wide ladies’ luncheon and program. I did not do anything very helpful in the weeks leading up to it, but I was able to help with the stage arrangements for the program, and act as MC for it. It was so enjoyable and comfortable, and was also encouraging that such times would again be in my life. I was thoroughly happy for those hours.

Then, on Sunday, I was able to stay throughout both Sunday School class and the church service. Afterwards, as was Kent’s and my custom, I went out to eat with a group of friends. As I walked up to the table, I was aware that a certain sweet friend was moving people around to make sure that I had a seat in the middle. I wanted to cry with relief. There I was surrounded by people, and could hear all of the conversation. She had been doing this for me for the weeks since Kent died, and I was touched by her sensitivity. I had the opportunity to tell her how much I appreciated her gestures in my behalf. On the way home, I got teary just thinking about how blessed I am to have friends who go out of their way to think about how I feel in new situations. (And any situation without Kent is a new situation, no matter how normal it was before.) It seems crazy, but thinking about where to sit is a big deal! It is so easy to feel alone when I am at the end of a row or a table. The absence of Kent is so much more apparent to my heart unless I am surrounded by people. It seems silly, but aloneness is a pervading feeling, and with it comes emotional unease and insecurity. And it is very easy to be “alone” in a crowd. God bless the people who see and understand this, and I have many family and friends who do. They make my efforts to “do life” so much easier.

With such love around me, and wonderful prayer support, I think I am doing well. Really. There is grief, of course, and will be for a long time. I still do not have a clue as to what ‘Davidene’ and her life will eventually look like, but I am taking one day at a time, and that is enough. I am still doing crazily stupid things, almost daily, but I read that this is standard with severe grief. I am exhausted by day’s end, and sometimes by lunchtime, but it makes sleep come easy – which is a real blessing.

All in all, I am thankful for you and your prayers. Please continue, and think about my children and grandchildren as you do. I wish I could blog what is in the lives and hearts of my children, but suffice it to say that they have a great depth of grief, too, while they are also trying to help me and their own children. Lance and Stacy’s family also lost “Grammie”, Stacy’s sweet and lively Grandma, within weeks of Kent’s death; so they have had a double dose of loss. My family has been amazing to me, and I love them all, way above my ability to express it in mere words. God has truly given me great blessings. I love them, and the God who gave them to me.

Love, Davidene

 

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About kenthumphreys
Kent Humphreys has been a business leader for over forty years. He also served as CEO of FCCI/Christ@Work for six years and now serves as their worldwide ambassador, speaking, writing, and mentoring young leaders. He continues to be active in distribution, private equities, and real estate. Kent and his wife Davidene have written six books together. They have three children and eight grand-children.

9 Responses to April 12th – Davidene’s note

  1. Joy Fischer says:

    Woms-
    Reading this made me smile! I love that you’re finding joy in the midst of your sorrow. See you soon.
    Love,
    Joy

  2. Herman & Mareita Reece says:

    As I mentioned last entry, you are a real encouragement, as you permit Mareita and I to walk this journey with you. We discovered yesterday that the five inch mass in Mareita’s liver is not a recourance of her lymphoma from 14 years ago – when you and Kent prayed with us through it. The mass is a carcanoma; on Monday, we will learn what type and the recommended approach. Pray with us as we seek to cooperate with God in what would give Him the most glory. 1 Cor. 10:31 Thank you again for sharing your journey. Resting in His Grace, Herman Reece

  3. Keith Burkhart says:

    Thanks for inviting us to pray for you!

  4. With every communicaton from you, there is a lesson and a blessing. Just the other day a friend shared with me his lonliness, and I thought.. “how can you be lonely when you are always surrounded by so many people?” But perhaps that can be the time of being the most alone. And how lonely are people who do not know The Lord, who do not have someone to talk to when no one else can understand. Thank you for teaching…

  5. Pat Dollarhide says:

    Your ministry of teaching and guiding is so strong through your beautifully written journaling to us. God is using your messages to train us how to help our friends in grief and how to pray for them. What a privilege to know you and pray for you!

  6. Carolyn Churchill says:

    It is encouraging to hear your honesty in the grieving process. The “shadow” of death can shade our vision if we don’t choose to walk in the Light as you are. Prayers are my privilege to be involved in your life. Thank you.

  7. Marty Sprague says:

    Davidene, I am SO GRATEFUL that God is helping you “do well. Really.” 🙂 Please be assured of my continued DAILY prayers for you!!! Love in Jesus…

  8. Guy Madison says:

    Hi, Davidene. Just wanted you to know that you are one special woman and I am grateful you include me in your posts. Funny that one of Kent’s main ministries was to widows. I pray that you are receiving the same kind of love and blessings that Kent had shown to so many who were grieving as well. Loving you…

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